Mask of Innocence
by Kaz5
Summary: Soujirou's meeting with Aoshi had led him to feel something, an alternate pairing, an Ao/Sou fic!! shounen ai though...


disclaimer: Watsuki Nobuhiro, Sueisha, Sony Music, etc.  
warnings: Soujirou + Aoshi, shounen ai, angst, PG-13  
spoilers: manga vol.11, but the shounen ai content is merely Kaz-made g  
thanks: Tiggy (the beta reader from heaven), for beta-ing this one for me :)

**Mask of Innocence  
**by Kaz (kazutaka@otakumail.com)

  
Aoshi stared in disbelief at the young man standing before him in the Kyoto street. He'd known that he was being followed since this morning and some part of him had guessed that the boy was behind all that. Even more, he'd brought his friends with him now. He could feel the strong aura from those men, but the strongest still fluttered around the boy with a strange smile on his face. 

Seta Soujirou. Yes, that's what he called himself in their first meeting in a forest near Tokyo. He was Shishio Makoto's right hand man, or so he said. 

"Maaa, what a coincidence, nee?!" The young man beamed, eyes turned to slits as he smiled cheerfully. Somehow, Aoshi was not amused. He knew that the smile was just a mask the boy put on.

"I thought that you were in Kyoto! Yokatta ne, we can meet again!"

"Coincidence?" Aoshi walked passed the boy and his groups without turning back, "You've been watching me, pretending that you don't know me."

"Maa, maa, you're too suspicious..." The boy added quickly, "Trust me, we just arrived in Kyoto this morning."

"I see, what a coincidence." Aoshi lifted his eyebrows, "I've felt someone watching me since this morning..."

The boy ran to catch up with him, that smile still in place. "Gomen, gomen..." he chuckled, "I really am sorry... but can you please come with us for a moment?"

"I told you, I'm not working for anyone."

"No, no..." Seta smiled. "We're not going to force you to join us. Shishio-san just wants to see you, even once."

Aoshi stared at him intensely, not losing a single bit of the smile. There was something strange that drew him to this boy. Maybe because he looked so much like Misao. No, he corrected himself. He doesn't look like Misao at all. Maybe it was just the young age, or possibly the small figure. But he knew for sure that this boy was not an ordinary boy.

"Besides, your effort to ask for the help of that Ojiisan failed... You could count on our group for information." The boy nodded, lips curved into a lazy smile. "For that, you can judge us later."

Aoshi thought over the offer once again, and found himself nodding. "Okay, lead me to him."

* * * * *

Soujirou was glad that Shinomori Aoshi finally decided to join them after he lured him with the information on the Battousai himself. Well, not exactly join them, his mind supplied. He just wanted to kill Himura, but that was enough, they had the same goal now. Just the way Shishio said. Soujirou smiled to himself; more men meant they had more strength. And as he had believed all this time, the strongest will win, while the weak will lose.

"Soujirou, you can take our important guest to his room now," he heard Shishio say calmly, and like always, he obeyed. 

"Over here, Shinomori-san." Soujirou walked ahead of his guest. For a second there, he was confused why Shinomori was walking so slowly, until he realized that he was slowing his step so Soujirou wouldn't be left behind because of their disparity of size. The okashira's legs were longer, so it wouldn't be a surprise if he had longer strides.

"Arigatou." Soujirou smiled thankfully, saw the deep blue eyes of the okashira widen just a little. He'd never thought that he could surprise this man, even the tiniest bit. "...for walking slowly for me."

"Aa," was the only reply that came out his mouth, but Soujirou was content enough that he understood.

They stopped in front of a door. Soujirou took out a key and unlocked it, gesturing for the okashira of the Oniwa Banshuu to step inside. The room was rather big, and unlike the wooden door, the room was completely traditional. The color of the tatami was pale yellow.

"This would be your room, Shinomori san." Soujirou walked to the wall cabinet and opened the shoji, "...you can find the futon over here."

The okashira nodded and then sat on the tatami, folding his legs together into a meditation position while Soujirou was busy pulling the futon from the cabinet. Soujirou tried his best to pull the futon, but it was stuck somewhere inside the cabinet. If he let go now, it would surely fall to the floor. And he really didn't want that to happen.

He pulled one more time, trying to put all his strength into it. And suddenly, the futon was free from its hook. Soujirou hadn't expected that to happen and he felt himself stumble backwards. He knew that he could easily regain his balance, but that meant that he would have to let the heavy futon fall. So instead, he took the risk of falling down with the futon on top of him.

He oofed heavily as he finally landed. He wrinkled his eyebrows, smiling, until he realized that he was sitting in a rather soft spot instead of on the hard tatami. He looked back over his shoulder and blinked as he found the dark-colored eyes of the okashira staring at him with surprise.

"Ah! Sumimasen! Shinomori-san!" Soujirou stuttered and tried to stand up, only to have the futon fall from his hand to the floor and his body back down to Shinomori Aoshi's lap. "Uh-oh... Su-Sumimasen!"

He didn't expect the okashira to put his hands on his waist and help him to stand up. He felt so stupid right now. Looking up to the man's face, he found himself blushing. He knew that he was giving the strangest smile ever, but he didn't care. What was happening to him?

"Oh, the futon is all dirty now..." He finally looked down to the futon on the floor; part of the reason was to hide the color that started to creep up his cheeks. "I--I'll ask someone to bring you a new one..."

The older man just stared at him coldly before nodding. He sat back on the floor, closing his eyes for meditation. Soujioru felt that strange emotion again as he watched the man's face for long seconds. He knew that he had to get out of there. Excusing himself, he walked out of the room and ran off. Butterflies with many colors started to flutter inside his stomach, spreading the strangest sensation he had ever experienced.

* * * * *

Aoshi shivered just a bit as the cold wind of the night started to creep up his body. There was no window inside the enormous cave, so he couldn't see whether the sky had turned to darkness. He felt like he had been sitting there for hours since the late afternoon. The sunset must've looked beautiful outside. He had loved to watch the sun set in the west from the mountain, a place that was quite special for the Oniwa Banshuu. But it was all in the past now. He may not look back, for he had betrayed them to gain the title as the strongest by defeating Battousai. And in the end, he could finally see his four loyal friends again.

He put his kodachi aside, shrugging out of his heavy coat. He hadn't even realized that he was still wearing it as he meditated. He laid himself on the new futon that had been delivered by one of the servants. The boy hadn't come back since then.

Aoshi closed his eyes, images crossing behind his eyelids. His friends, his family at Aoiya... Okina... Misao... But as the image of Himura Battousai appeared, he could only feel the anger inside his heart. 

At the same time, the door was knocked on once and then pushed open. With a remarkable speed, he reached for his kodachi. He unsheathed one of them and drew it at the intruder that stepped inside the room.

Seta Soujirou stood in the doorway, looking straight into his eyes. Aoshi saw the tray in one of the boy's hands, and the smile on that sweet, adorable face.

"I bring you dinner, Shinomori-san."

* * * * * *

The dinner was served for all the members who had just arrived that day. It wasn't every day that Shishio and Yumi joined their dinner, but today was special. But Soujirou didn't see their guest anywhere. He had sent a servant to invite him to have dinner with them, but the servant said that he had refused the invitation. They waited for another five minutes, but there was no sign of him coming. 

"Let's just start the dinner without our guest, shall we, Shishio-san?" Houji made an initiative. The other members of the Juppon Gatana nodded in unison except for Soujirou and Anji. 

Shishio finally nodded in agreement, and then peered at his young right hand man. "Soujirou, you can deliver Shinomori's dinner after this if you want," he said before taking his chopsticks.

The young man nodded and smiled, somehow pleased to hear what his master had commanded him to do. That strange feeling crept up from his stomach again, and he reached for his chopsticks, intending to eat as fast as he could. And once again, he felt himself blushing. He didn't understand why he constantly blushed every time he remembered Shinomori Aoshi. But it felt right, and also a little bit amusing to have someone to think about. He didn't remember the last time he could smile like that. As if he had found something important.

"Gochisousama deshita." Soujirou smiled as he put down his chopsticks. "I should really take Shinomori-san's dinner now. Excuse me." He started to stand up.

Houji stared at him and put down his bowl for a while. "Soujirou, don't forget to tell him that I want to see him after dinner," he said suddenly, "It's about the attack on Aoiya tonight," he said quickly.

"I will, Houji-san," Soujirou smiled. "Would you excuse me now, Shishio-san." He bowed to his master and received a smile from the man himself. 

Soujirou refused any help from the servants to bring the dinner. He walked proudly through the alley and to the okashira's door. He balanced the tray in one hand as he knocked on the door once and, without waiting any longer, he opened the door. And saw a kodachi drawn towards him.

He blinked once; surely that kind of threat couldn't make him budge from his spot. He put on his best smile, placing the tray back in both his hands, "I bring you dinner, Shinomori-san."

The kodachi returned to its sheath and Aoshi sat back on his futon while Soujirou put the tray on the floor. He then rummaged in the wall cabinet and took out a small table to eat. 

"I knew we had this somewhere," he said proudly as he started to put the table in front of Aoshi. Taking the tray to the table, he gestured to the man to eat. "Please enjoy your dinner, Shinomori-san."

Aoshi only stared at him without expression on his face. Soujirou could feel himself sweating under that gaze, a nervous smile on his lips. Maybe Aoshi wanted him to leave? he asked himself. But why the hell did he not feel like leaving?

"W-While you eat..." Soujirou stuttered, "...I'll fix your futon."

He was glad that the okashira didn't make any comment about what he had said. It was such a lame excuse to stay, and he cursed himself for making it. He turned to the futon as the okashira started to eat his rice, his back to Aoshi's. "Anou, Houji-san wants to see you in the library after you have your dinner." He paused. Would it be a good idea to tell him what the conversation was about? he asked himself. The people in Aoiya were his family, or at least they used to be. But...

"It's about the attack on Aoiya tonight."

He heard the chopsticks being put down on the tray. The next thing he knew Aoshi had stopped eating, and turned to face him. Soujirou tilted his head, smiling to his guest. "Have you finished your dinner?" He asked sweetly.

Aoshi didn't answer, his eyes piercing into Soujirou. But the icy look didn't affect him; the boy still had that smile on his face. 

"Why are you always smiling like that?" His question wasn't exactly what Soujirou had expected. 

The boy blinked and then, "...Like what?"

"Like that." Aoshi said coldly, "...as if there's nothing bothering you."

Soujirou frowned, "There is nothing bothering me."

"Nothing at all?"

He blinked again, and then, "Except you."

"Me?" That was surely the first time Soujirou saw the cold eyes filled with something other than anger and hatred. It was confusion, and Soujirou enjoyed it very much. "I'm bothering you?"

Soujirou smiled, almost giggling. "Hai, but in a good way." He stated, "...I feel strange whenever I'm around you."

Aoshi looked more confused now, "Oh?"

"But then I feel more strange when you're not around. That's just confused me." Soujirou nodded. And then he noticed something, "There's rice on your face."

The okashira lifted his fingers to touch the corner of his mouth, but he couldn't feel anything such as rice on his face. Soujirou smiled delightfully and then stretched out a hand. "Not there, here..." He took the fingers and guided them to the other side of his face. The minute their fingers touched, Soujirou could feel that sensation again against his chest. He felt himself blushing in front of the okashira. 

His eyes met the older man's. He didn't even know why he didn't take his hand back. Time stood still, their breath mingling between them. The next minute was more than what he had in mind. Aoshi's other hand lifted to cup his cheek, tilting his face. 

Soujirou had never been kissed before in his life, not even a quick kiss on the cheek. But the kiss planted on his lips now was definitely _not_ a quick kiss. He closed his eyes as the hand on his cheek traveled to his waist and pulled him closer. He felt his other hand being grasped tightly by the strength of an okashira of the Oniwa Banshuu, their fingers entwined.

"Shi-Shinomori-san..." he gasped as Aoshi pulled away just slightly, their eyes meeting. He was certain that he had turned bright pink right now. But the moment he thought he was going to be pushed away, their lips met again.

* * * * *

Aoshi closed his eyes as the sensation rushed all through his body, washing him like a flood. He hadn't expected the boy to taste so sweet, intoxicating, a perfect mix between inexpertness and eagerness. The okashira lost all the sense that said he should release that small figure from his arms. He didn't even realize that he had pulled Soujirou onto his lap, snaking his hand around the small waist, while the other hand slipped between the silken masses of Soujirou's hair.

His tongue sneaked inside the warmth of Soujirou's mouth, felt welcomed as the boy's tongue came shyly to touch his. Something inside him awakened, the desire that had been long gone as his journey with his four deceased members started. But this boy somehow had awakened it once again. As he crushed their bodies together, he could feel his erection grew larger, harder, until he couldn't take it anymore.

Hands twined behind his neck, pulling at him once again. As much as he knew that it wasn't right, his body took control of his mind. And his desire for Soujirou was insatiable. Soujirou...

"No." He pushed the boy away, looking into a pair of wide eyes in front of him that were filled with lust and confusion at the same time. Soujirou tilted his head, his hand stretched out to touch his cheek.

"No." Aoshi pushed the boy from his lap, making him fall to the floor. "Don't. You must leave now."

Soujirou only nodded, again giving him an alien smile. Taking the tray in one hand, he exited the room. He didn't say another word, not even a good night. And that smile...

Aoshi stood up almost abruptly, adjusting his pants. Why on earth had he started that whole thing, seducing the boy? Or was it the boy that had started the whole thing? 

He didn't remember how it started; the next thing he knew he was inside that boy, feeling every pulse of the boy beat twice as fast as he probed his mouth. His innocence had drawn him to take more than just a kiss. Those perfect lips... That sweet face...

K'so. Thinking about that kiss made him aroused once more. Was it just the kiss? Or was it because of the boy? He could never guess it. But for now, something else was more important. He grabbed his coat and pulled it on almost hastily. Slowly he took hold of his kodachi, knowing that Houji awaited him.

* * * * *

Soujirou touched his lips with steady fingers. Shinomori Aoshi -- of all people -- had kissed him. He had kissed him on the lips; not just that, he had felt like Aoshi was inside his mouth as he did it. Sure, he had seen his master and Yumi-san kissed before. But he never thought that kissing was so... arousing. At least that was the only explanation he had for the lump in his crotch. He blushed once more as he thought about the kiss. Was it going to lead somewhere else if Aoshi had only let it be? He'd heard about having sex after the kissing. He heard that from one of the Juppon Gatana members, but he couldn't remember who. It could have been Kamatari, or maybe Cho?

Was this what they called aroused? He blushed with that thought. He'd never thought about sex before, but tonight... No, it wasn't just sex. It wasn't about being aroused or not. Since the first time he saw those eyes belonging to the okashira, he knew he felt something different. Something strong enough to awaken the sensation inside his heart.

Was this what people called love?

He chuckled. No, it was impossible. He couldn't possibly love anyone. He didn't even have any feelings or emotions left inside him any more since that rainy night. Maybe even long before that...

But now... Could it be possible for him to find that thing called love? He wanted to. And he wanted the person to be Shinomori Aoshi. Maybe... Maybe it was possible...

Did he feel the same? Soujirou asked himself. Did Aoshi also feel what he felt? The heat, the passion, the urge to have more. He must have, because he had kissed him more than once. But then, why did he push him away?

Oh, he remembered. He had a meeting with Houji-san about that attack on Aoiya tonight. Maybe he should see him again in his room after his little meeting with Houji? To see if he indeed felt the same. Yes, that's exactly what he wanted to do.

* * * * *

They were going to attack Aoiya tonight. That was the only thing that bothered Aoshi's mind right now. But he believed that Okina from the Oniwa Banshuu was stronger than Houji's Kyososhu group. Besides, he had four ninjas working for him at Aoiya and also Misao. The thought of the girl made him sigh once more. Misao... He believed that Okina had taken good care of her since he left Aoiya.

But there was no reason to be worried about Aoiya. Even if it was destroyed, they had nothing to do with him any more. Maybe it was a good thing if there was nothing left to remind him of his past. Once he had the title of the strongest, he wouldn't need anything anymore. 

But if they didn't get the information they wanted from Okina tonight, it would mean that he had to fight him alone. And one thing he didn't want to do was to hurt his own friend. No, his mind corrected. Not his friend... He had no more friends now... Not even the Juppon Gatana. They were not his friends...

Aoshi walked back to his room after the meeting with Houji. It was getting late, but he was certain that he wouldn't get any sleep tonight. He hadn't had any good night's sleep since the death of his friends. He could still see Hannya, Beshimi, Shikijou, and Hyottoko die in front of his own eyes, protecting him from the gatling gun. He could still see their blood, their heads...

He froze in his tracks when he saw that boy, Soujirou, standing by his door. Aoshi continued his walk, approaching his young visitor who was smiling now at his arrival. The smile looked different, somehow, more... sincere this time. But he could never guess what was behind that smile of his.

"Shinomori-san." The young man called his name as if it was a prayer.

Aoshi kept staring at him coldly, without expression. "What are you doing here?"

Soujirou started, but then his mouth curved back into a smile. "Eh? Etto... Do I have to have a reason to come and visit you?"

"I want you to leave me alone."

"Eh? A-Aren't you at least going to invite me in?"

Aoshi turned his face to the door, opening it slowly. "I want to go to sleep, now leave me alone."

"I thought..." Soujirou opened his mouth, but the words didn't continue. He stared at him with a questioning look, his smile fading for just a brief moment. 

"I kissed you, but that was all. It's not like I've fallen in love with you." Aoshi said the words coldly, peering to see the expression on the boy's face. 

He certainly didn't expect another smile to cross his young companion's face. He couldn't understand what the boy was thinking, not even now after he said such cruel words to him. It wasn't Soujirou's fault that they had kissed before. It was his own fault that he initiated the kiss, and now he was just going to tell the boy to forget about it? 

"Sou ne," Soujirou smiled and nodded, "...Sou ne, wakatta yo..."

Soujirou lifted his face and Aoshi saw that wide smile on his face, no trace of sadness whatsoever there. As if nothing had happened before, as if the kiss never existed, as if the words of rejection were never spoken.

"Well, I'd better leave you so you can get some rest now, Shinomori-san." Soujirou bowed. And then, with that big smile on his face, he walked back down the alley.

Seta Soujirou; Aoshi whispered the name over and over in his mind. Was that smile he wore all the time just a cover, a disguise to hide something beneath that sweet, angelic face? He knew that Soujirou was also a murderer, just like him. He could never believe that a boy as young as Soujirou was in fact the strongest of the other members of the Juppon Gatana as Houji had told him.

_What is it behind that smile of yours, Soujirou? _

He didn't even know why he also felt the pain inside his heart. A guilt caused by the rejection he had uttered to his young friend. Maybe he just wanted an explanation, maybe he just wanted to talk… but then...

No. There is no time for that, he said to assure himself. He didn't have time to deal with Soujirou, not when his mind had to stay focused on the fight with Battousai and defeating him, to prove to the world that he was the strongest.

Shaking his head, he stepped inside the room.

* * * * *

Soujirou walked to his own room; maybe it would be a good thing if he got some sleep too. He felt so dizzy, more than he had ever experienced before in his life. What was the matter with him anyway? He'd never felt like this before...

There was definitely something wrong with him. Something so wrong. Even the smile on his face felt wrong. Why was he smiling when he was supposed to cry? Why was he still laughing after being rejected by the person he'd thought would return his feelings? What a fool...

He sighed, shaking his head. Maybe it wasn't love after all, he said to himself. If it were really love, he would've cried like a lovesick teenager, just like Cho said. If he'd had his first heartbreak, he wouldn't be smiling like this. No, of course it wasn't love. He didn't have any love, for anyone, anyone at all, even Shinomori Aoshi. 

His feelings died years ago, and with them so did he.

He paused as he felt the sting in his eyes. He lifted his fingers, feeling a trace of tears on his cheeks. Stupid dust, he muttered and continued smiling.

In the end, the strongest would win and the weak would lose, that's what he believed. If he cried now that would prove himself weak, and so he wouldn't cry. To prove to his Shishio-san that he was indeed the strongest of the other members.

Smile, and leave everything behind…

-fin-


End file.
